Desire in a Long Term relationship

In her TED Talk, Esther Perel explains why desire often fades in long-term relationships—and what we can do about it. She highlights the tension between our need for safety and our need for excitement. The same closeness that makes us feel secure can also make desire harder to access.

Perel shows that desire isn’t just about sex—it’s about seeing ourselves and our partners as alive, separate, and engaged in the world. We feel most drawn to each other when we can view our partner with fresh eyes.

This talk offers a compassionate, realistic look at why passion changes over time and how couples can reconnect with a sense of vitality and curiosity in their relationship.